4/08/25

Spicy Take: Your New Life Will Cost You Your Old One

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Lately, I’ve been having the same conversation over and over again.

A creative friend or client will share that something just feels… off. That their brand doesn’t quite match the level they’re working at. That they’re attracting inquiries, sure — but not the kind that light them up. That their pricing doesn’t reflect the kind of experience they know they’re delivering.

And I’ll nod, because I’ve been there, and in some ways, am currently there, too.
If we’re all being honest, I think we’ve all been there.

Sometimes we try to shake the feeling with a fresh Instagram bio and a new brand photoshoot. We tinker with colors and fonts. Rewrite our “About” page for the fifth time. Buy another course and vow that this time will be different. But the disconnect still lingers.

And after a while, the real truth begins to surface — this isn’t working anymore. I can no longer deny it. I need a shift.

And here’s the spicy take I’ve been mulling over for a while now. Based on one of the best pieces of wisdom I’ve gleaned in this last year:

Your new life will cost you your old one. And, in that, your new brand will cost you your old one.

Because stepping into something new always asks you to let something else go. In fact, it requires it.

I’ve seen it countless times, in my own life and in my clients. Once we’ve finally named the fact that we want a change, we get so excited. We create vision boards and spend an hour on an inquiry call chatting ideas and dreams. We run to update our Instagram bios, we spend hours adding to our Pinterest boards to get the vision ~just right~. And then, when it’s time to actually start making real changes?

We hesitate.

And it’s human nature, right? Your brain is simply doing its job to protect you (good job brain!). We are biologically wired to return to the same behaviors, the same actions (or lack there-of), the same ANYTHING that we’ve done before. Because it’s safe. It’s familiar.

After years and years of doing this, I’ve finally realized that a new brand isn’t really a new chapter at all. It’s honestly an entirely new book. And it definitely isn’t a new aesthetic (even if your old aesthetic is getting a polish). It’s a total identity shift, from the inside out. It requires courage and radical acceptance of where you are holding yourself back. It requires shadow work. It requires you to come face to face with your limiting beliefs, and to decide whether you’re ready to release them or not. Because you are stepping into who you are becoming — not who you’ve been. And that means making some hard choices.

I recently worked with a returning client — a stunning wedding photographer — who was ready for her annual website polish — something I often do with many of my past clients. Updating galleries, swapping in new headshots, updating the travel schedule, the usual stuff. 

But beyond the usual polish, she voiced to me her frustrations that, even after having a gorgeous brand and website for over 2 years, she’s still attracting a level of client that isn’t quite up to par with who she wants to be working with. She wants higher-end weddings and friend-worthy clients. She really, really wants to start making more money and giving up less of her weekends.

But when it came time to actually own this change, to actually choose a new path, and to raise her package prices … she froze.

“I can’t possibly charge that! No one in my area is charging that much!”

“Okay…” I said, recognizing the familiar pattern. “Well, at the very least, how about we scale down your packages just a bit — maybe decreasing the coverage time or removing the engagement session you’ve been including. You don’t have to increase the investment exactly, but you’ll be getting a bit more of your time back.”

“No way! Everyone includes an engagement session, no one is going to book my packages if I don’t include it!”

And on and on that conversation went… I think you get the picture.

This totally well-meaning client is the perfect example of this. It doesn’t matter what you want. It matters what you choose.

So, How Do You Get Unstuck?

1. Actually decide what you want.

First, let’s put down the reasons and excuses for a moment and zoom in on what it is that you actually want. Not “a better website” or “more inquiries.” That’s surface-level.

Kidlin’s law is a problem-solving theory that says: “If you write the problem down clearly, then the matter is already half solved.”

So, let’s define it. What do you actually want?

  • To feel like the true CEO of your business — not just a freelancer scrambling to keep up.
  • To command trust (and respect) from dream clients before they even inquire (aka the level of clients who would never even think of asking you for a discount).
  • To work no more than ten weddings a year, and literally that’s it!

To create a brand that feels like the you you want to be — not the past version of yourself that you’re ready to evolve beyond.

Here’s where most people get stuck: it’s not that they don’t know what they want — they do. Deep down, they’ve already pictured the elevated brand, the aligned clients, the higher price point. But then come the reasons. The justifications. The inner critic that whispers why it’s not possible right now.

“I need more experience.”
“No one in my area charges that much.”
“My current clients would never go for that.”

And I know, the voice sounds convincing. But the truth is, most of them aren’t facts. They’re beliefs. They’re habits. They’re fears. They’re comfort zones dressed up as strategy. And if you stay there, stuck in the gap between what you want and what you believe you’re allowed to have, nothing changes.

“You are not the voice inside your head but the one who hears it.” – Tony Fahkry

This is where alignment work comes in. Sometimes, you just need a clear mirror. Someone to help you cut through the noise and name what’s actually holding you back — and then help you move through it with intention.

2. Let go of what’s not serving you.

The hardest, most necessary part in all of this.

Actually taking action that aligns with those wants. 

  • You may want to start charging $10k+ for your weddings, but you’re still holding onto the belief that you have to be “affordable” to book clients.
  • You’d love to only work 15 weekends a year, but your tendency to say “yes” out of obligation has left you with 3 double headers and about 2 seconds of down time.
  • You so want to be in the realm of creatives you follow on IG and swoon over every time they post, but you’re stuck with the idea that if you raise your prices, no one will book you.

These things are not facts. They are, once again, habits. Stories. Comfort zones disguised as strategy.

If your brand, your pricing, or your process doesn’t match the business you say you want — something has to change. And YOU have to be the one courageous enough to change it. Because you can’t run a high-end, elevated brand while making decisions from a place of fear.

So, take inventory: what are you still holding onto that’s keeping you small? Find a friend, a partner, or an unbiased third party who can listen without judgment, hold space for your honesty, and to kindly shed light on where you are, indeed, stuck.

3. Get help if you need it.

And lastly, here’s where most people stay stuck the longest: they think they have to figure it out alone.

They tell themselves they’ll “just DIY it a little longer.” That they “need to book a few more clients first.” That they “should be able to do this on their own.”

And meanwhile?

  • Their website still doesn’t attract the right people.
  • Their pricing is still too low (and people are still asking for discounts)
  • Their process is still time-consuming, clunky, and in no way helping the overwhelm.

So, here’s what I believe to be true. 

The most successful business owners aren’t the ones who white-knuckle their way through change. They’re the ones who ask for help.

  • You don’t have to tweak your website for months when a pro could handle it in days.
  • You don’t have to second-guess your brand when someone who knows strategy could get you clear in a single call.
  • You don’t have to keep booking the wrong clients when there are experts who specialize in attracting the right ones.

Change feels a whole lot less scary when you’re not navigating it alone.

At the end of the day, you have two options:

You can keep things the way they are — because it’s comfortable, because it’s familiar.

Or — you can step fully into the business you actually want. The life you actually want.

The version of you that books dream clients, that commands trust, that makes sales feel effortless? She’s waiting.